It’s happened, I’m 60. I went to bed aged 59 and I woke up 60.
The milestone I’ve been working up to for half a year, or you could say, all of my life is here at last. Of course I feel no different today except a slight sense of relief that I’ve made it.
I’ve had a great birthday, some fantastic presents including a few still to be enjoyed, had more birthday cards than I can remember and dozens of messages on Facebook, WhatsApp and Messenger. Am feeling slightly popular!
Now, life returns to normal and part of me is happy about that and part of me feels a bit sad that the celebrations are over.
There’s a few things I’m looking forward to such as signing up for all the free, discount stuff you’re supposed to be able to get at my age including exciting things like free prescriptions!
I’m also looking forward to the first of my two pensions starting to pay out, it’s just a modest sum from a few years I spent in a final salary scheme but it’ll be good to get something for nothing.
I’m also going to enjoy telling people I’m 60 – I’ve started doing this already – and waiting for them to say to I don’t look anywhere near that age. I know they are only saying it because they feel they should but I’d still like to hear it.
Now the milestone and the celebrations that go with it have passed I feel that a weight has been lifted from me. Strangely I feel freer to think about the future and start to shape it a bit more.
My efforts to create some purpose in my life seem to have stalled – no progress on my bids to become a councillor and a volunteer board trustee – so I’m going to have to give this part of my life some more thought.
Am still feeling strangely anxious and agitated some of the time which may or may not be due to the ongoing effects of the lockdown. The best example of this is that I’ve been struggling to get much more than four hours sleep the last few nights.
Maybe this is linked to the various paradoxes I need to deal with. The big one is that I feel more connected to home, having got to know and like my neighbours during lockdown.
Yet the main thing I want to do is travel but that is fraught with hassle and even danger. Another is that I’m potentially free of work but am feeling I need something like it in my life to keep me sane.
There are things to balance too around my health both physical and mental. I feel better in myself when I exercise and yet there’s only so much I can do without it making my joints ache to the extent that I actually feel physically ill when I do too much.
Similarly I enjoy an alcoholic drink and understandably around my birthday have been having more than I usually do. As well as making me feel more relaxed it helps me get to sleep. It’s something I need to rein in though as I don’t want it to affect my health or wake up feeling groggy.
In many ways I’m feeling more unsettled about life and my future than I did at the beginning of the year. Need a change of scene, to reset where I’m at and maybe a bit of travelling if it’s allowed and the return to something like normal life will do just that.